her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
