dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Randomize
