She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
