who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
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I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
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you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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