According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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