Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
