We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
