How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
