Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
