k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Come see our sink grown plant.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
