you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
