Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
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