Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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