Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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