there was a trapeze. enough said
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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