Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
