My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
