lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
