walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm too high and old for this...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
