Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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