My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
