I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
