my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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