It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
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Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
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Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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