let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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