I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
