yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
