my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
