Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
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