READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
