I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
