my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
