Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
