you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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