Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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