marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
