look no pants
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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