Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
