You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
