Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
