I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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