If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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