I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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