i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
