sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
