i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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