This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
someone owes me an orgasm
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
