Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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