and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
