she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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