Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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