It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
