Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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