how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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