let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
