is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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